Self Forgiveness

Well, good morning everyone, and welcome to the Secret Art of Huna Facebook Live. This is actually second Facebook Live I’ve done this morning, the other one was in the Forgiveness Challenge Group, which is absolutely motoring along, it’s amazing, the bravery of people who’ve been participating in that. And it’s given me lots of food for thought. And one of the bits of food for thought that it’s given me is the whole question of self forgiveness.

Now, I’ve spoken about self forgiveness on other videos and on other occasions. But I wanted to just hone in on a few things today. And the first thing I wanted to hone in on is, now, I’m no Bréne Brown, I think the work of Bréne Brown is absolutely amazing, but I’m not Bréne Brown and my thinking is not necessarily totally her thinking.

But for me, there is such a fundamental relationship between shame and self forgiveness. I find that when I support people in forgiving themselves, then they start to release shame, and when I support them releasing shame, they start to be able to forgive themselves. So, I’ve seen this very close relationship between the two.

One of the things I teach is Ho’oponopono. Ho’oponopono is the Hawaiian forgiveness process and a lot of people are familiar with it. It comes in different forms, there’s many versions, as there are probably Hawaiian families in the Hawaiian islands. But Ho’oponopono is very much about forgiving others.

Now, arguably, when you forgive somebody else, you do actually forgive yourself. But, and certainly in the Ho’oponopono that I teach, we say please forgive me, I forgive you. So there is a two way thing with the other person. But, it really is focused on the other. And for a lot of people, what I’m seeing in the challenge is that people really need to spend a lot of time with forgiveness of self, particularly where shame is an issue.

So, what can you do in terms of self forgiveness? For me, release things like anger against yourself, sadness about things that you haven’t done, regret. Regret’s a big one, a lot of people have regret and shame kind of tangled up in one another. So, I might say I regret not having done something in my life, but I might also say that I’m ashamed a bit, so, for a lot of people, regret and shame have this very close interaction.

Fear. Some people are ashamed because they’re fearful. They haven’t done things that they wanted to do because they were fearful, and they’re ashamed of the fact that they never did it because they were fearful. So, I see this particularly in my work with careers. Now, people would come to me and they’ve got this lifetime of regret because they were afraid to do the very thing that they wanted to do, and they are now, they’re ashamed of the fact that they never did it when they had the opportunity.

Guilt. Guilt is a huge one. Very often guilt and shame are two sides of the same coin. So when you release guilt, you very often also release shame, and if you’re not releasing it, then release the shame about yourself.

So, really key releases that can help you in terms of getting rid of shame. Another way of getting rid of shame is to look at your limiting beliefs, that you have about yourselves, look at the belief that you have, the beliefs that make you feel ashamed, so, I’m ashamed because I’m not good enough, I’m ashamed because I’m not lovable, I’m ashamed because I can’t do something, I’m ashamed because I’m not a good friend, I’m ashamed because I’m not a good daughter, I’m not a good enough parent, I’m not a something.

Or I’m ashamed because I’m too scary, that was one for me for a long time, I was ashamed because I was too scary. So when you release those limiting beliefs, that can help release the shame, as well. And it also helps with the self forgiveness.

So, for self forgiveness, releases around the emotions, anger, sadness, fear, guilt, shame, if you need to release shame separately, and letting go of those limiting decisions that you have about yourself. That would really help on the self forgiveness side. Self forgiveness has it’s own challenges, anyway.

And the psychology industry, the psychology profession has generally shied away from it, so there’s not much written on it. There’s loads written on forgiving others, but not much written on forgiving your own personal self, and letting go of your own shame.

So, if you want to know how to do that, I do periodically post little guided meditations and little guided visualisations to help. And I do that in the group B, I do that in the Secret Art of Huna for powerful transformation group. I also do some stuff in my Secret Art of Huna pioneers’ club group. And I do it at live events, and I’ve got a live event coming up.

If you want to book on it, it’s the 23rd, 24th of February, it’s in Oxford, it’s a two-day event, and you won’t just learn how to release shame and to forgive yourself by doing these release processes, you’ll also learn an ancient, carefully guarded technique that’s kind of similar to Reiki, but it’s older than Reiki.

It emerged in the 19th century, rather than the early 20th century. And it’s got 36 symbols, so, and it’s hugely powerful, but what it does is, when you start to use the symbols from that system, when you start to work with that system, that way of moving energy and healing, it really accelerates you ability to do the self forgiveness piece, to do the releases, to release the emotions, to release the decisions.

So 23rd, 24th of February, in Oxford. And if you want to check it out, secretartofhuna.com\live will take you there.

Otherwise, look forward to seeing you on another Facebook Live, look forward to seeing you in the Secret Art of Huna for powerful transformation group, or at the live event. Take care and have a good self forgiving day. Bye now.

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